What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 22.06.2025 03:44
They are buried together, in the same grave..
She loved him until the end.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
Put me off passion for life!!
I think the readers, may guess!
Measles strikes at birth: Six Canadian newborns infected from unvaccinated mothers - Times of India
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
But ive been too sick for many years..
Can you explain the difference between “mi piace” and “mi piacciono” in Italian?
What did i know ?
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
The big, bad bond market could derail Trump’s big, beautiful bill - vox.com
And who doesn’t know suffering?
Why did i forgive my father ?
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
What is the best sunscreen available for summers? My skin is oily.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
How do you get a girl to like you?
My family never makes their pension either.
She wouldn,t have been !
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
Has your wife made you a cuckold?
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
Raw Milk Is Trending — Here's Why Doctors Are Seriously Concerned - BuzzFeed
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
China Rare-Earth Magnet Maker Gets Green Light for US Exports - Bloomberg
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
Do you find Anushka Sen attractive?
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
What do you do when your family doesn’t care about you?
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
Apple’s struggles to update Siri lead to investor concerns over AI strategy - Financial Times
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
I could never make a relationship work though!
I don,t even have a pension.
So whats the point in blame.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
Who then, do I blame.?
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
My life is so biszare .
This is soul school!.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
Im still living with it.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
She married twice! .
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
So, i spoilt her more .
I never cut or harmed myself..
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
He was dying to do it , i knew.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
I was 9 years of age.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
Was to survive, this bastard.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
I couldn’t, believe it.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
But it wasn’t much.
It was going to be , some day.
When she asked me how she looked .
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
She found it foreign!.
I write beautiful poetry .
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
(And it was in our own minds.)
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
I was seconnd youngest,
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
I will be 64.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
I have no regrets .
I was scared of men, in general
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
We all went to grammer schools
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
She was in good health!
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
One cannot live in the past .
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
And i lived it daily.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
I was very sick at this time too.
As i do to all so called friends.?
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
Especially a lifetime of it.
He knew the spot.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
He resisted the act ,that day.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
Would this be the day?
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
But, we were locked up after school.
Comes on , in middle age.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
I said to her
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
We were not on the streets..
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
Ive learnt so much.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
My mum and dad in the seventies!
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
I know ,a lot about trauma.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
I did it because my mum asked me too!
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
I waited trembling.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
All the time i was locked up.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.